flowerclass: Easy-to-understand comparison of sci-fi authors: “How would you resolve the nuclear accident?” E. E. Smith, “A scientist suddenly invents a super-technique.” [James P.] Hogan, “A scientist invents a super-technique over the course of 100 pages.” Clarke: “An engineer discovers a solution through trial and error over the course of 100 pages.” [Stanisław] Lem and [J. G.] Ballard, “There is no resolution.”

snapwith: More. [Edmond] Hamilton, “Easily resolved by Captain Future.” [Edgar Rice] Burroughs, “A hero appears from Mars (or Venus, underground, moon, Tarzan) and resolves it with a miracle.” Heinlein, “Lazarus Long gives a speech for some reason.” Asimov, “Robots rush onto the scene but don’t work, so Professor Cameron appears.”

TOGO_Masanaga While we’re at it, Gibson: “100 cybercowboys dive in and resolve it.” Niven: “A very lucky person makes the right choice 100 times and resolves it.” P.K. Dick: “100 people who have lost their identity are wandering around. Nuclear power? What’s that?”

fum1h1ro: To add a few of my favorites: James T[iptree], Jr., “The president of TEPCO grabs the spent nuclear fuel and swims to the sea floor 100km off the coast of Miyagi” Lois M. Bujold, “The Crown Prince hits on a good idea.” Tanith Lee, “Actually, I was the nuclear reactor!”… or so I think.

snapwith: LOL at that last Tanith Lee. Okay… so: [James] Blish, “Use a spindizzy to lift the reactor into outer space.” Ryu Mitsuse, “The reactor, too, will vanish in the span of ten billion days and a hundred billion nights.” And Haruka Takachiho, “The WWWA reports that only a hundred million died.” [A Dirty Pair joke.]

From the comments:

HPL: “An impossible-to-describe, unearthly spectre–at the window! At the window!”

Heinlein: “With a soldier’s spirit, we can slaughter this so-called reactor!”

Hoshi Shin’ichi: “TEPCO develops a sophisticated fire-fighting AI, who cracks a lot of jokes but doesn’t actually want to go to the scene.”

[Stephen] Baxter: “Looking into the future when the earthquake happens, we wonder what to do, but merely by doing so create a different future.”

A corporate Twitter account was talking with a random otaku about football. This scintillating discussion suddenly devolved into “anime avatars are gross”, which would be one entirely irrelevant tweet among billions, except that it was being posted from the corporate account of a chicken restaurant, which somehow makes everything wonderful.

Togetter: My argument with Torokeru Chicken

Uchida as always fails at a key point

@torochicken Yes, Uchida has always been a failure. That’s why he got passed over for the Asian Cup.

@fugetac Yeah. So, he’s still Kashima level. He’s just a kid that’ll fetch a low signing price.

Kashima people get pampered… even though they got so much potential for growth

Anyway, the J League level really pisses me off. Other than high school soccer, soccer in Japan is totally uninteresting.

@torochicken I’d like to see the young players try for higher targets. But J League being J, and fans being who they are, I don’t think we can do much about it.

@fugetac True. But I’m an old soccer rat who’s spent most of my life in the stadium, and I’ve got my own standards. Cause I’ve seen these J leagues from the very start. Bad plays are bad plays. Players who bring out the plays like that really are players that “can’t perform at world class”.

Uchida’s never gonna grow up. Anyone know why? Just use your own two eyes. lol.

Look at all these dumbasses cheering him and praising him, how ridiculous

Gross

Ain’t nobody happy when they lose. Everyone wants to win. You think about that kind of world. If you feel the same way lets meet up.lol.

Ahahhahahahaha

You know, money isn’t something a person “gets and keeps”, money is something you “grant”. That’s some deep shittttttttttt

@fugetac Thats what i was trying to say.

This is brutal, but…it’s funny how people who are bad at soccer make a living doing it. lol

I don’t follow people with the anime avatars. Cause I don’t like them.

Cause you know, people who are seriously into anime, they’re usually not normal people. Problem?

@torochicken Uhh. You can say whatever you want on your own account, but do you realize you’re using the chicken restaurant’s account?

@fugetac whatever.

What’s this trying to imply? RT @fugetac: @torochicken Uhh. You can say whatever you want on your own account, but do you realize you’re using the chicken restaurant’s account?

It’s totally normal for company representatives and the like to post comments on stuff other than goods and services. This isn’t news, is it? RT @fugetac: @torochicken Uhh dude. You can say whatever you want on your own account, but do you realize you’re using the chicken restaurant’s account?

This was posted on the account of Torokeru Chicken. What the hell? RT @torochicken: What’s this trying to imply? RT @fugetac: @torochicken Uhh. You can say whatever you want on your own account, but do you realize you’re using the chicken restaurant’s account?

Why is this corporate Twitter account all of a sudden publicly chiding me with undertones of snark and mockery? Obviously I won’t be visiting their store again, but this is ridiculous, and pretty much awful.

You trying to start a fight? I’ll take you on dudde RT @fugetac: This was posted on the account of Torokeru Chicken. What the hell? RT @torochicken: What’s this trying to imply? …

anime avatars are gross

ahahahah

anime sucks. faggots.

What do anime avatars have to do with anything? Are you stupid? What a pathetic, pointless insult. Eh, this conversation is already unpleasant, so I’m out.

it is dumb shit that losers jack off to

@fugetac anime avatars are gross

[charley]: @fugetac Telling a troll that you’ve given up just makes it hungrier.

@fugetac anime sucks!!!

@fugetac butthurt already?

it is dumb shit that losers jack off to RT @torochicken: @fugetac butthurt already?

Ohhhhhhh man. I cant wait to jack off. gonna be great

@torochicken Ohhhhhhh man. I cant wait to jack off. gonna be great cccome on! finishing off an amateur like this si so unsatisfying. i challenged you!

@fugetac Ohhhhhhh man. I cant wait to jack off. gonna be great

@charley This isn’t a troll, it’s just an ordinary chicken store. It’s not a fake account, either. I’m going to Togetter it now. heh

@fugetac Hey, let’s make nice. Those comments didn’t mean anything. Come by our store anytime. Don’t worry, we won’t make fun of you.lol

@fugetac You must be a person who didnt get accepted by the “normal” world,,,,so. cut the crap. bye. dont retweet this.

I Togettered “My argument with Torokeru Chicken” http://togetter.com/li/93253

Itai News: Restaurant Official Twitter Blasts, “Anime Fans Are Fucked In Head” “Anime Otaku Are Gross”

2 ： Dr. Pradd(catv?)：2011/01/26(水) 17:52:49.52 ID:whwKfymD0
His arguments have merit.

3 ： Rainbow Family(Kagoshima)：2011/01/26(水) 17:53:04.26 ID:vNzqJr3c0
Yeah, can’t argue with the truth.

25 ： au deer(Kanagawa)：2011/01/26(水) 17:55:31.95 ID:C4JAjRZl0
“You trying to start a fight? I’ll take you on dudde”

His Internet strength is terrifying!

30 ： Hokkaido Rice Mascot(Tokyo)：2011/01/26(水) 17:55:50.07 ID:Cjjc0dUDP
Yeah, corporate accounts should keep quiet,
but why was this guy intentionally trying to Internet duel?

401 ： 藤堂とらまる(岐阜県)：2011/01/26(水) 18:11:57.01 ID:WIk9WRxi0
The soccer stuff at the beginning was actually grosser than the usual anime crap

753 ： Enzel(Tibet)：2011/01/26(水) 19:16:26.18 ID:wmrNvG3/P

[A brilliant Photoshop was posted:]

I don’t follow people with the anime avatars. Cause I don’t like them.

Cause you know, people who are seriously into anime, they’re usually not normal people. Problem?

You trying to start a fight? I’ll take you on dudde RT @fugetac: This was posted on the account of Torokeru Chicken. What the hell? RT @torochicken: What’s this trying to imply? …

anime avatars are gross

ahahahah

anime sucks. faggots.

it is dumb shit that losers jack off to

@fugetac anime avatars are gross

785 ： Rabitan(Kanagawa)：2011/01/26(水) 19:17:49.86 ID:QW2eHAaf0
Ignoring all the anime stuff, I wouldn’t want to eat at a store run by an idiot like that

The Akihabara pedestrian heaven (hokousha-tengoku, i.e. hokoten) reopened today after 2 years 7 months. You may recall that it was closed when some insane person plowed his car into the pedestrians and stabbed some people. This morning a moment of silence was held for the victims of that attack and their families. Afterwards the street was opened to pedestrians, for walking only. Akiba’s old tradition of dancing on the streets is unfortunately now prohibited so the celebration was muted. Police were posted on many corners, officially for safety but probably to prevent dance outbreaks. After the initial rush onto the street it just became a big mall, with the occasional cosplayer. Leafleting is also prohibited but who gives a shit about those people anyway?

Gundam: That story where Amuro and Char fight

Eva: Pachinko

Macross: Singing

Geass: Never heard of it

Votoms: Follows a main character named Chirico Cuvie (Kiriko Kyuubi), a former special forces Armored Trooper pilot and former member of the Red Shoulder Battalion, an elite mecha force used by the Gilgamesh Confederation in its war against the Balarant Union—both interstellar nations within the distant Astragius Galaxy. Gilgamesh and Balarant had until recently been locked in a century-old galactic war whose cause was long ago forgotten. Now, the war is ending and an uneasy truce has settled. Chirico Cuvie is suddenly transferred to a unit engaged in a suspicious mission, unaware that he is aiding to steal secrets from what appears to be his own side. Chirico is betrayed and left behind to die, but he survives, is arrested by the Gilgamesh military as a traitor, and tortured for information on their homeworld. He escapes—triggering a pursuit extending across the entire series, with Chirico hunted by the army and criminals alike as he seeks the truth behind the operation. He is driven to discover the truth of one of the objects he was assigned to retrieve in that operation: A mysterious and beautiful woman who would become his sole clue to unraveling the galactic conspiracy.¹

1. The original post copy/pastes the first section of the Japanese wiki summary of the series so I’ve done likewise with English here.

This is Thomas Edison. He used a spirit phone to call four Japanese teenagers to Heaven. This is all I’m going to say about this anime, because it is something you must see for yourself. Download it. You will thank me for it later.

The Japan Times printed an article about Happy Science, part of which unfairly compares it to Aum Shinrikyo (Ookawa is not the kind of person who would kill innocent civilians–watch The Laws of Eternity if you don’t believe me), but part of which is quite eye-opening.

A book released recently, “The Guardian Spirit of Kim Jong Il Speaks,” by party founder and President Ryuho Okawa, explains that the voice of Kim’s “guardian spirit” warned him of the North’s plans. Okawa also tunes into the thoughts of Japan’s wartime monarch, Emperor Hirohito, and his deceased predecessors.

Yup

HRP News

According to the Japan Times, the party leader position in the HRP has been passed from Ryuuhou Ookawa’s wife to the Buddha Lord himself.

I’d also like to note something that is easy to deduce about Ookawa’s leadership plan. Since few to none of the HRP ticket candidates have any political experience, and all of them believe Ookawa is God, they will likely do little legislative work of their own and simply allow him to manage them as a block. This means that even if it gains a small minority of Diet seats the HRP could have considerable influence, as a quick glance at the past few years will show that the major Japanese political parties are rent with intraparty factionalism.

It’s entirely possible that HRP will claim less than three seats and be completely irrelevant, in which case you should read on for amusement’s sake only. But consider this: DPJ, the expected winner of the general election, will need to form a coalition government. However, the party is wanting for allies. The LDP is their rival party and has an enormous power structure, so combining the two for a coalition would be hell on earth and lead to failure. New Komeito supports the LDP. That leaves the Communist party– a fun group to ally with– the single-person non-parties, and HRP.

HRP Advertising

In Japan, political parties advertise with posters. Lots and lots of posters. New Komeito sends all Soka Gakkai members posters to hang on their front doors, which leads to a fun game where you point out which houses on the street are Soka Gakkai. How does Happy Science do it? Well, let’s see.

courtesy 2ch news flash vip blog

Translation: “If you want to be poor, vote LDP. If you want to die in a nuclear blast, vote DPJ. [in yellow:] If you want to be rich and safe, vote HRP.”

This poster is remarkable in its brazen name-calling. It’s probably the most blatant and proud statement of objective superiority of any democratic election in the 21st century. This is of course derived directly from Happy Science’s fervent belief in the divine correctness of their leader’s political views.

The linked blog includes two reader reactions, which are respectively amusing and telling:

“I honestly don’t know what the fuck.”
“You know, if you remove the words in yellow it’s pretty accurate.”

Here’s how the HRP approaches candidate advertising:

If nothing else, they cannot be faulted for lack of zeal.

It is also reported by my readers that the HRP has taken up the common Japanese campaign technique of driving around the streets with megaphones, except these megaphones are several times louder than your average politician’s and interrupt people’s dinners and work. One wonders if the Tokyo Police bureaucracy is attempting to figure out at this very moment how many decibels are acceptable for megaphone campaigning.

The HRP Platform

An anime character presents the platform with the warning, 'Don't give up on our future!'

1. We will foster a spending boom by completely abolishing the consumption tax, the inheritance tax and the gift tax.
2. We will protect the people of Japan from North Korean missiles.
3. We will create a 300 million-person nation by the year 2030, and will make Japan’s GDP number one in the world.

This platform is elaborated in a sixteen-page Manifesto which has helpfully been translated into English by the party itself. The manifesto begins as follows: “If God or Buddha were watching over Japanese politics as it stands today, He could not simply stand idly by.” How thankful we should be that God/Buddha is literally here in the form of Ookawa. In case you’re doubting the sincerity of Ookawa’s belief, let me paraphrase from a speech he gave in California: Ookawa stated that Jesus cried out to him on the cross back in 33 AD. In this speech Ookawa also talked about the dangers of nuclear proliferation– an interesting subject considering what is to come.

1. The Economic Plan

Ookawa’s devotion to regressive economics must be seen to be believed. Here’s a little taste of the Japanese equivalent of the Ron Paul R3volution: “We will promote a fundamental reassessment of the central bank system and the currency system, such as by allowing banks to issue their own banknotes.” Sounds great! Oh wait, the U.S. had that system in the 19th century, and it was pure chaos.

We will… realize a Nikkei stock index of above 20,000 yen.

The plan to reach this weighty goal is to eliminate most taxes entirely. But wait, you say! Without taxes, how will you pay for the necessary functions of government? Don’t worry, Ookawa has that figured out. The economy will rise so quickly that the tax cuts will pay for themselves! Ookawa seems to be involuntarily channeling the recently departed spirit of Milton Friedman.

A few taxes are singled out for very special badmouthing in the HRP Manifesto. The gift tax “discourages consumption among the wealthy classes”, and the inheritance tax (a progressive tax which rightist groups in the U.S. dubbed the “death tax”) “smacks of communism”. By abolishing the securities tax (which applies only to stocks and bonds–an extremely progressive tax!) Tokyo can become “the financial center of the world”. No doubt this ultra-rich free-for-all will cause some sort of economic havoc. Japan could be the next Dubai! Whether this would be good for the country in the long run is another question entirely.

Finally, there are some captivating words from Ookawa on the future of technology. The HRP will “nurture robotic industries” to secure Japan’s economic future. Hmm… could this have something to do with his prediction that in the 23rd century robots will be doing all our work for us?

2. The Population Growth Plan

At the same time, we will take policies to increase Japan’s population, and will aim to make the GDP of Japan the highest in the world by 2030 when we hope the population will reach 300 million people. We will offer support such that each household will be able to have an average of three children, which will increase the population to 200 million.

You thought the last part was insane? We’re just getting started, guys. In this section Ookawa proclaims that Japan’s population will hit 300 million by 2030. Japan’s current population is 120 million– and shrinking rapidly. Studies have shown that governments cannot cause birthrates to turn around. Birthrate is determined almost entirely by social pressures. Now, I guess if the entire country were converted to Happy Science, Ookawa could exert his charismatic influence to make everyone have ten children. But in a country where having a wife is outlandish and a child a minor miracle, promising to double the population is roughly equivalent to promising to bring us unicorns from the moon.

Not to mention the population goal is ludicrous for a country the size of Japan. It seems apparent that this plan assumes everyone will live in cities. Where will the food come from? Agricultural subsidies are discussed, but nobody wants to farm in modern Japanese society. Also, they’re dropping rice tariffs so the existing farms will evidently just go bankrupt. I guess by the time we start worrying about importing billions of pounds of rice from Communist China, robots will somehow appear to make food universally accessible: “hydroponic plant factories” are mentioned at the end of the document.

3. The Immigration Plan

The remaining 100 million people will be immigrants welcomed to Japan from overseas

Here’s the other half of that 300 million promise. The immigration policy is possibly the only forward thinking part of this entire document, and it’s interesting that no other Japanese party has been bold enough to say anything like the following:

• We will institute Japanese language lessons at nights and on weekends at public elementary, middle and high schools, thereby increasing opportunities for foreigners in Japan to learn Japanese.
• We will strive to have large cities with populations of one million or more people create communities amenable to residency for foreigners, and will work to make English a semi-official language.
• We will actively promote the naturalization of foreigners. In principle, we will confer citizenship upon all foreigners who work in Japan for approximately five years, commit no crimes while they are here, attain a certain level of proficiency in the Japanese language, and sign a pledge to fight for the defense of Japan in times of need. (In certain cases, we will also add the condition of one year of service in the Self-Defense Forces. We will also strengthen the legal system to prevent spying.)

They also promise to provide affordable housing and alleviate the naturalization bottlenecks facing Filipino babysitters and nursing home workers. But the next bullet point reminds you that these plans have nothing to do with recognition of Japan’s cultural, social, or spiritual strengths that attract millions of tourists every year, but are merely a bizarre byproduct of Ookawa’s plans for an ultra-rich libertopia:

• We will abolish the inheritance tax, which will attract the wealthy strata of people to move to Japan and will promote their taking up permanent residence here.

4. The Education Plan and Happy Science Government Takeover

Ookawa is going to ban cram schools and privatize public universities. He will teach all Japanese students economics and business. (Doesn’t the global depression make this national get-rich-quick scheme seem somewhat dated?) He will also enact Bullying Prevention Statues, which I imagine are something akin to Britain’s utterly horrible ASBO system. I will leave the feasibility of these projects as a test to the reader. Oh, and by the way, he will delete the part of the Japanese constitution that prevents the establishment of a state religion. This is casually mentioned in the education part of the platform, as if he’s only talking about religious schools here, and you would be silly to presume otherwise. I feel like I could give Ookawa a few “evil mastermind” tips on concealing his master plan until he gets a solid majority.

5. The Defense/War Plan

Ookawa wants to eliminate the beloved Article 9 of the Japanese Constitution, which prevents the country from operating an army and navy. Article 9 has been a security godsend to Japan for the past 50 years– it defuses tense situations with China and the Koreas– and implementation of this item could lead to military responses from Japan’s neighbors quite quickly. This is the most dangerous part of the document, but it is also the least likely to see any results if a coalition government is formed. The Japan Times Herald interviewed a political analyst who pointed out that Article 9 is quite popular among the Japanese people, and a recent LDP government failed for suggesting the possibility of exactly what the HRP demands.

The language of this section strongly suggests not only a “strong defense” but an aggressive military which will infiltrate the North Korean government (with ninjas?) and kidnap Kim Jong Il if the long-missing Japanese citizens captured in North Korea are not returned to their home country. Yes, they are openly announcing that they will plan espionage in an unstable nuclear state. North Koreans could be reading this document at this very minute.

The “defense” plan for China is to tell them to dismantle all their nuclear weapons as a prerequisite for peace talks.

HRP will “consider renting nuclear weapons from the United States and Russia”. In a country that is home to the only two cities bombed in nuclear attacks, where over 200,000 were killed, no other party is this openly hawkish regarding the nuclear option. Oh, but in case you’re wondering, the final bullet point affirms that Ookawa is committed to realizing world peace.

6. Building an enormous maglev railroad from Japan to China, India, Europe, Great Britain, and Africa

Yeah, you know what? I’m not even going to bother detailing this. Oh, he wants to build a base on Mars as well.

Conclusion

The economic aspects of Ookawa’s plan, which pop up throughout the document, are beyond the wildest dreams of America’s Libertarian Party. They are based in the grand fantasies of the economic bubble that are quickly fading and would be disastrous in implementation. The defense aspect, a staple of the HRP’s fearmongering advertising campaign, resembles the worst of American offensive realism, and the mere posting of these suggestions on a party website is somewhat disturbing. Also, the entire long-term development plan depends on the arrival of sentient robots. But besides these three fatal flaws, Ookawa’s plan is great! Open borders and free Japanese lessons for immigrants? A population of 300 million by 2030? The largest GDP in the world? A maglev that will take me to Great Britain and a base on Mars? Hell, count me in!

From a religious scholar’s perspective, it’s difficult to know what to make of this combination of New Age utopian fantasy with Machiavellian pursuit of raw economic and military power. The long-term plans remind me of nothing if not a sci-fi anime, or even the setting of the visual novel Ever17. The world of Ryuuhou Ookawa’s strong and independent Japan is one where the skies are a little bit bluer, there’s no trash in the streets, and everyone lives in a two story mansion. If you’re being cynical, I guess you could say this is a platform to support the weight of Ookawa’s megalomaniacal personality. On the other hand, though, this could just the ends supporting the means, a balance of his sci-fi utopian ideals with the most “realistic” tools to achieve them.

UPDATE

I just found an official party video which confirms the utopian image I outlined above. There are no subtitles but if you’ve read through this article you will be able to understand this video quite well. The title is “LDP or DPJ or Happiness Realization Party?”

The new religious movement Happy Science started a political party in May called the “Happiness Realization Party”, or HRP for short. Today the Japanese government announced figures which showed that Happiness fielded the most candidates of any party in the 2009 government elections. These figures are likely to be translated by American reporters sometime this evening or tomorrow. 2chan.us scoop! Must credit Shii/Kransom!

On this blog I previously covered the religious party New Komeito, managed by Nichirenist splinter group Soka Gakkai. New Komeito claims that it dissociated itself from Soka Gakkai in the early 1990s, although everyone knows this is not true. The HRP does not even attempt this sort of obfuscation. The party leader is Kyouko Ookawa, the wife of Happy Science founder Ryuuhou Ookawa, who is by the way not only the Cosmic Buddha but also God incarnate.

Happy Science is by far the funniest of Japan’s new religions.* Adherents believe that historical figures like Thomas Edison and Florence Nightingale, as well as Toyota founder Sakichi Toyoda, were actually angels descended from Heaven to save humankind, a concept the equate with the bodhisattva. This theology is explained brilliantly in the anime The Laws of Eternity, in which four happiness-minded teenagers go on a journey through the seven extra dimensions of the universe and converse with these people as well as figures from Atlantis and Greek mythology. (The Laws of Eternity may or may not be posted to Tokyo Toshokan next month with English subtitles. I couldn’t possibly tell you whether it is being illegally fansubbed at this very moment.)

A butsudan (home shrine) sold by Happy Science. Photo by Shii.

While Happy Science has an English Wikipedia article describing it in bland, whitewashed terms, Rick Ross has not archived any English articles about it, which is surprising considering its size. In its 20-year history it is mainly notable for having a “religious war” against Aum Shinrikyo, the infamous cult behind the Tokyo sarin gas attacks. The week before the gas attacks Happy Science members took to the street protesting the cult. The HRP as of yet has no Wikipedia articles or neutral coverage in English.

The figures released today show that while the LDP and DPJ were only able to field 287 and 267 candidates, respectively, HRP produced an astonishing 298 candidates, putting an HRP candidate on the ballot in 99% of Japan’s 300 constituencies. These were likely not chosen from experienced politicians but volunteered from Happy Science’s eager member base. HRP also fielded 45 candidates for the proportional offices (the mainstay of smaller parties like New Komeito), as opposed to 23 from LDP. The reaction on 2ch was a mixture of disbelief and “we surrender to our overlord Ryuuhou Ookawa”.

A little background for the completely confused: Japan has been run by a one-party system for most of its postwar history. It was expected that the ruling LDP would completely dissolve during this fall’s upcoming elections due to three consecutive failed governments, but the established opposition party DPJ was hit by a corruption scandal that led to the resignation of the party leader. As New Komeito is roundly disliked by most Japanese and the Communist Party is too radical for some, this left an opening for a new political party.

I guess I should start a “shinshuukyou/new religions” category at this blog. I don’t watch much anime and I don’t go to cons but I follow Japanese religion very closely. Before you ask, I’m not going to start my own blog because attracting readers to a religion blog is mendoi.

* With the possible exception of the Pana Wave Laboratory. Those guys were NUTS.

What was not announced was that the Reitaisai organizers also rented the East 3 hall, for the purpose of line control. Yes, they rented a 3.5 million yen/day hall for the purpose of making the event less of a living hell by lining up the first x thousand people to show up inside the event hall. Upon discovering this hall, I felt a little less bad about having to spend $19 on an only-event catalog. I took it somewhat easy, getting up at around 6 and arriving at the hall at a little past 7, and just barely made it in the nice climate controlled room where many thousands of other Touhou fans were, many of whom probably were hanging around the Big Sight all night.

As at all doujin events, there is a page in the Reitaisai catalog and all related materials that states that you SHOULD NOT line up overnight, or even get there really early in the morning, suggesting that you instead arrive at an hour when normal people will be awake, in other words, when you won’t bother them. Of course, a lot of people don’t actually follow this rule, creating tensions between the rule-breaking overnighters (徹夜組), the on-the-fence first trainers (始発組), and the rest of us plebes who more or less follow the rules and wish grave harm upon the first group and mild harm to the second.

Most conventions state that there will be some sort of vague penalties for showing up early. I’m fairly sure Comiket isn’t actually able to follow through with this threat, and they’re already pretty well equipped to deal with the crowd. Reitaisai last year, on the other hand, didn’t hand out any penalties, and the event was pretty chaotic. Sunshine Creation was fairly well known for actually dealing these out, moving some people to the back of the line, or I believe in one case making the overnight folks shovel snow if they wanted to keep their place in line. Of course, this can always backfire, as apparently at last Comic1, the 100 or so nerds who were cordoned off as a penalty by 5 staff members decided that their collective inertia could not be stopped by these 5 staff members if they all moved together, and basically just plowed into the event hall. tsk tsk.

Back to Retaisai, though. Like I said, I just barely made it in east-3, and I could hear people around me mumuring about penalties and whatnot, some calling the building we were in a ペナルティほいほい, “Penalty Hoihoi”, a play on the Japanese for “roach motel”, “Gokiburi hoihoi.”

Well, it turns out they were right! At 9:45, 15 minutes before the event started, the periodic announcement by the cheerful female announcer reminding us to please buy a catalog if we hadn’t yet was replaced by another announcer, this one male, and much less cheerful. He informed us folks in the hall that we all probably knew that lining up early was expressly forbidden. In classic Japanese chewing-out style, he let us know how much of an annoyance we must have been, partying outside all night when there’s a hospital with a giant cancer ward just next door, and that we should probably feel bad about ourselves. Oh, and there would be some changes made to the line.

Without even a “have a nice day”, the PA clicked, and everyone went from being dead silent to excitedly talking to their friends. The guys around me seemed half-scared but half-thrilled, because we sort of followed the rules by showing up after the first train, and even if we did get hit by a penalty, we had already showed up late enough that it wouldn’t reaaally make much of a difference.

At 9:55, our line, 6 wide and 90 deep, and only our line, started to move. We all started freaking out, wondering if we actually were going to be the first regular attendees in. They lined us up right in front of the entryway to the event, and held us there for a little bit, telling us that we shouldn’t run under any circumstances, that we should have our catalogs out, and that we should have our shoelaces tied. When 10 came around, everyone started clapping, as you normally do at these events.

Oh, except for the people who had stayed overnight at the Big Sight. Apparently they weren’t too thrilled about the entry order to the event of East 3 being completely reversed.

as they say on 2ch, 徹夜ざまあ wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Anyway, I ought to go now. Need to install my Seirensen demo!

Munto will be 9 episodes long ○
Basquash getting aired on 10 channels across Japan, is 2 seasons long ○
Strike Witches S2 in 2010, based on the light novel ○
April Haruhi airing will be a mix of season 1 and season 2, aired in chronological order
Shangri-La will be 2 seasons long
Asura Cryin’ will be 2 seasons, one in Spring, one in Fall
Seitokai no Ichizon airing in July ○
Omamori Himari getting an anime adaptation ○　(this, Seitokai, and SW s2 were posted in late January)
Railgun getting an anime in 2010
The Final Negima OAD won’t be produced by SHAFT (? i might be reading this wrong)
Mangrove doing Seiken no Katanakaji
Many changed voice actors for the new season of Hagaren ○
Wolf and Spice s2 in July, 12 eps in all ○

I guess we have to sit back and see how this pans out! Maybe it’s all part of Kadokawa’s master plan. even this very blog post.